Silence is golden
It was most noticeable eating dinner tonight. No loud background noise from the corner of the living room. We could all hear each other talk. And we actually did talk.
We took the tv away today. It’s sitting down here in my office, on the floor, unplugged, gray, lifeless and dull.
It’s not that I really object on a moral or philosophical level to tv. And in fact it’s going to be hard for me not being able to watch basketball and the odd programme I like. But we’d reached a stage where it was on all day. The kids would turn it on first thing in the morning, Josh sitting cross-legged on the floor entranced, and Matt slumped on the couch, barking at us to get him breakfast. Supposedly we had a policy of no tv during dinner. Too many tired, stressed nights put paid to that.
Ultimately, we used the tv as a babysitter. Allowing us a few moments - although, often, it would be much longer - of peace. A few moments of the kids not making demands on us. But it really was a cheap fix. It created more problems than it ever could solve.
The kids have progressvely been getting more angry and irritable. More passive. More insistent on tv’s privileged place in the order of their lives. A vicious cycle where that attitude manifested itself in increased bad behaviour towards each other and towards us, leading us to use tv more and more as a pacifier.
So I decided yesterday morning, after a particularly stressful time getting Matthew out the door and off to school, that just maybe not having tv would help. And today it’s gone.
I sold it to Matt that without tv we’d be able to spend more time with him and Josh. Being without a tv is going to be hardest on Deb and I. It’s no longer going to be there as an easy way to occupy the kids. Still, I have a suspicion that the problems of our tv-free-zone are going to be nicer problems than the ones we’ve been worrying about of late.
November 11th, 2006 at 11:36 am
When I was a kid we were hardly allowed to watch any television at all - mostly because my parents didn’t feel it was good for us, but also because of theories about it being bad for my younger brother and his hyperactivity. We were allowed to watch “sesame street” and one other show a week if we had done everything else - a reward of sorts that mostly we didn’t even choose. Now as an adult I’ve never understood the way people just watch anything on the box - and MySky puts an end to that need even when we’re tired and can’t do anything but blob.
November 11th, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Well, one day down and it’s gone well. The kids haven’t even asked about watching tv. The living room even looks better without it there!
I do, of course, want a big-ass flat screen LCD tv in due course, but if that happens its use will be strictly for cool DVDs and NBA basketball :)